Sand and Water

Someone once told me, referring to a great philosopher- “Are u happy or do you want to be happy?” There is a thin line but a world of difference between these two questions. If you want to be happy, you may or may not be happy at some point but if you are happy, nothing can take that away from you!! It depends on how much do you let your inner feeling of joy become a part of the larger world outside vs believing in it to be a beautiful part of your own self that will never change. With that said “belief” and “own self” are two words that often feel frail and weak as we age in today’s world, as if they were the sand under the tides of life at the edge of the sea... its really how we feel in trusting the outside world these days too... worrisome shaky quiet... not so much worth being a part of... and while this picture of disbelief is somewhere created by the self image of ours, the making of such self image is perhaps from the lack of its nourishment. Now, when this feeding of the soul is based on our thinking of the right vs the wrong, good vs bad, sin vs goodwill, evil vs angelic its too draining for the soul to begin with. Making itself after rationalizing such thoughts/emotions/actions/deeds can be exhausting enough at some point leading to an outcome that is very limited. And then we question if such self image can thrive? And the funny thing is that it only happens as we grow older into the working, life building, home making and ofcourse family making  years... we never really question ourselves while growing up. Thats when we believed  in what we were looking forward to! So when we “think/feel” we are done growing up, the outcomes of our actions, of the path of life we are on, of what happens vs what we thought/expected cannot be related to that belief of ours in looking forward to the good... coz whatever the path of life brings, believing in the good can never go wrong. We dont have to change it, dont have to disappoint it into non existent and frail... coz actions and reactions are unrelated to the being/one’s self. The world of difference between “trying to be good” vs being good/ “want to be happy” vs being happy... since birth there has to have been some time when we loved it, felt happy in it. Such time stopped when the ‘judgement’ started. So we have to stop judging and let the time flow, so the innerself recovers its quality of being good, being happy. About the daily humdrum, it will keep changing - like the water of the tides above the sand at the edge of the sea, constantly trying to get somewhere while the sand underneath keeps dancing and smiling in the love and music of life whichever way it goes...!!!

Dec, 2018
Shubhangi Saraf Hundiwale

Are you in the Journey?!!!

Are you in the Journey!!!
Hi Time to empty the mind! Lots going on. life has moved to a new phase! I am married I am pregnant with a boy about to deliver in 2 months living here in the US expecting my Indian family to come live with us working a job that is not so full time have friends living at the other end of the east coast. Too much in terms of full? Missing spiritual touch or say it’s there deep under layers of living. Routine is a disaster late sleep very late wake up odd cooking and eating raising questions about the future and the kid... one hope is from family that will come and help straighten things out... I guess lack of living the dream the way it’s “supposed to be” is disappointing causing a negative outlook towards life pretty much all the time. Expecting the perfect is where the flaw lies that’s clear but how to bring the mind off the rail track of trying to get to it... the direction is missing or it’s important to stay still while letting it all go the way it’s going.. letting the  journey go past and through me seems a better option than running after destinations that keep changing! I wonder if this is a sad way of looking at life or can it be ok? It will be ok if the fog of lack of acceptance causing distraught feelings clears and being ok with the beauty of life the way it is around me without feeling disappointed by it being still in the present vs reflecting on a negative future or past out of it... there is beauty in the presence.. it’s subtle... and easy to become unnoticed while expecting to travel fast on the rail track.. if I can let the journey pass through me with whichever pace it chooses while staying still in it, I will be able to enjoy and appreciate the beauty in the subtle, be able to be subtle and light myself coz that’s where I lie quiet and subtle at peace feeling the joy of life all the time coz I can. The journey is going to continue, the mind doesn’t have to race in the journey. It’s my choice whether to race myself or enjoy and be in the subtle during the journey’s race. Now that I can see from a distance it’s easy to see how the journey moves. It comes and goes phases in phases out is fast is slow feels constant but is transient! Being still, one can notice the existence of ones subtle stillness in the midst of the trans of the moving journey! While the journey fades in and out of brightness, one does not. It’s non existent vs existing. The key to the peaceful joyous stillness lies in the awareness of the transient journey which is natural, works through the forces of nature and does not have a role for one to control it. It cannot be begun or ended by one, it cannot be altered at ones will. It shall take shape around the energy of the existent /the one. The more one is aware of its nature the more one is free from the binding forms and shapes of the journey. And it’s easier to release a knot, actually only possible to release a knot when one can see it vs when one is in it! A light skill of hands doesn’t have to be brain teasing /blood sucking task/fight. So when it feels so, disengagement can bring realization of the journey vs ones self. Acceptance through observation instead of expecting change due to intense involvement is essential to live by the character of the one/the stillness/the subtle existence.

So, no, I may look like I am in the journey of life but in fact I am unrelated to it. It chooses to take shape and form around me. If I happen to get too involved trying to change its transient nature, I start feeling transient myself! If I observe it instead, it looks like the beautiful patterns in an ever changing mosaic, the joy of the vision I am meant to enjoy!

Dec, 2018
Shubhangi