Sand and Water

Someone once told me, referring to a great philosopher- “Are u happy or do you want to be happy?” There is a thin line but a world of difference between these two questions. If you want to be happy, you may or may not be happy at some point but if you are happy, nothing can take that away from you!! It depends on how much do you let your inner feeling of joy become a part of the larger world outside vs believing in it to be a beautiful part of your own self that will never change. With that said “belief” and “own self” are two words that often feel frail and weak as we age in today’s world, as if they were the sand under the tides of life at the edge of the sea... its really how we feel in trusting the outside world these days too... worrisome shaky quiet... not so much worth being a part of... and while this picture of disbelief is somewhere created by the self image of ours, the making of such self image is perhaps from the lack of its nourishment. Now, when this feeding of the soul is based on our thinking of the right vs the wrong, good vs bad, sin vs goodwill, evil vs angelic its too draining for the soul to begin with. Making itself after rationalizing such thoughts/emotions/actions/deeds can be exhausting enough at some point leading to an outcome that is very limited. And then we question if such self image can thrive? And the funny thing is that it only happens as we grow older into the working, life building, home making and ofcourse family making  years... we never really question ourselves while growing up. Thats when we believed  in what we were looking forward to! So when we “think/feel” we are done growing up, the outcomes of our actions, of the path of life we are on, of what happens vs what we thought/expected cannot be related to that belief of ours in looking forward to the good... coz whatever the path of life brings, believing in the good can never go wrong. We dont have to change it, dont have to disappoint it into non existent and frail... coz actions and reactions are unrelated to the being/one’s self. The world of difference between “trying to be good” vs being good/ “want to be happy” vs being happy... since birth there has to have been some time when we loved it, felt happy in it. Such time stopped when the ‘judgement’ started. So we have to stop judging and let the time flow, so the innerself recovers its quality of being good, being happy. About the daily humdrum, it will keep changing - like the water of the tides above the sand at the edge of the sea, constantly trying to get somewhere while the sand underneath keeps dancing and smiling in the love and music of life whichever way it goes...!!!

Dec, 2018
Shubhangi Saraf Hundiwale